We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
