It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
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