well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
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