Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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