who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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