He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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