i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
