I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
