the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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