As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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