Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
