ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
