I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
