How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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