There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
