so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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