i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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