i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
