He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
