So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
