Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
