Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.

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(209): View more from California

Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?

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(256): View more from Alabama

He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better

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(231): View more from Michigan

Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.

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(619): View more from California

That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.

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(347): View more from New York

Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings

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(847): View more from Illinois

Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?

(224): View more from Illinois

No. Not at all.

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