Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
