Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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