Dude my mom stole all your condoms
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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