Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I want to be your penis for a week.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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