i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
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