i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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