Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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