My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
