if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
