Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Randomize
