i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
