you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
