You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
