I skipped work to stalk him.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
