I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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