guys are not supposed to queef...right?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
