i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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