Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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