I'm drive I can fine osifer
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
