I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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