No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
