i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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