I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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