my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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