I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
