So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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