She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
