Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just want nice things and good sex
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
