Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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