I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
