Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
