I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
