Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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