doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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