You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
