Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
