I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
