either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
