Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
